i lie down in bed
cant see keyboard. wish i had learned the proper way to type.
instead, my hands jump over every which way
trying to find the right words
stumbling as much as my synapses

what if... i don't go to japan? i ask myself
as i cozy all up in bed
under yourmy purple blanket
under your sleeping bag i was lent
under my cozy comforter

what if... i stay here and go to school?
study psych? write my book?
become an anti-psych loudmouth revolutionary
study race and gender dichotomies being torn apart and