day three
not as calm as sunday monday
but still
quiet
are we on a three-day roll?
today
not every muscle in my face was tensed up
its a start
i am wearing cut-offs and a loose t-shirt
hair messy and green eyes
i lie on the couch
swing with iko outside
as we make carnitas
for his birthday
i am remembering
how much i am a part
of this unit
it feels nice
and is incredibly scary
how much i've forgotten it
i am okay.
for two weeks and three days i did not think i would be.
but sunday night, sleeping in my childhood bed,
yesterday, barefoot and grass and leaves,
today, swinging and cartwheels and stretching,
i am healthy again
it is beautiful and scary that it is so simple
beautiful that earth and home and reminder of me can work so many cures
scary that the mind can so quickly change
that, fie, it (may) still be on a spell now
but for now
right now
i am okay
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