day sixty-six

i think
it had never been like this before
i have never been ready to walk away
but then i remember
i have
several times
when you were the injured party
weeping and attached
i could not take the heavyness

~~

last night
in your bed
i was scared
i dont want to say that
because it means something is wrong
not right
but next to you
black wings flapped

i cannot blame you
i have used such waxen wings before too.

i sleep now.
i cannot more now.

Elaine said
forget about it
it's hormones
you know that now

I wish I would have known that before
i walked to your house



To Write Out


edge, corner of room

some of us cut on the inside
(are you feeling dark or why) fun girl friend not good wife
hitting temple
kneeling on floor, can't give you what you need
fucking calm down, holding while saying you need to fucking calm down



love, female spirit/mother earth, daemon, not firefly now