day one hundred and twenty-two : tête-à-tête

all these things about unstable chaotic relationships
are simply not true
or weren't until grad school

before that
i had many good stable friends
i never fell out with a friend
we would just drift with course changes or different interests or whatever

but with my friends from grade school, i am on good terms
with my theatre and  B friends I am so good and keep in touch as much as possible

and with my best best friends
emer then kathleen then leah
they have stayed
they have been constant.
there has never even been a fight even though we were around each other so much and intimately

simply not true
it's not a pattern.

it was me with Donal, and then only the second half of our relationship
and you and i
at times

that is not illustrative of my person

this relationship pattern
does not relate to me
i realise
as i lie with kathleen on her bed
soft comforter soothing our heads
as we confide and smile
reveal secrets and listen