it is difficult now
to trust
anything
there is a joyous feeling in me
because i am making plans
solid plans
because i am making progress
definable, diagram-able, solid progress
because i am in
sun
a tank top, running pants, grapefruit and sun
it is always the minutiae, isn't it? that plummets one down or catapults one high
working
on that
i. am. healing.
i am seeing so much stuff! noticing so many habits! especially a thought process i do a lot. i'll name it "the three-point thought in reverse". (maybe a shorter title in time)
that first book/journal
found a lot
second book's notes
finding more.
making that timeline
makes it all real, solid.
makes everything in my life MAKE SENSE.
makes my sadness/anger s-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n-a-l.
it is not stuck in me.
it is a part of me and has been for a while
but it's ok
the gooey venomous glop
is going to go cough itself
right out of me
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