planning
what does that even mean?
that there is some kind of future?
maybe something
to occupy the space
it is something
it let me get excited for a bit
sipping caramel lattes, coffee and hot chocolate
for three hours
thought of creating
and not slipping away
i come home
but the fade is still there
i am not trying to run from it
as i had before
just trying to have them live in tandem
and maybe one of the kinds to beat out the other
i should respond
i know
part of me is scared
what is coming?
a goodbye?
part of me is so relieved
you remember i exist
so many times
i just don't move
just don't do
headlights
move along, move along
i wanted to respond to the first email you sent
not a picture
the one where you first spoke
the words of your mind, being, state to me
the first time since december
i wanted to respond to that first email
but
am i allowed to respond to an email that states you aren't ready to talk?
that doesn't really make sense at all, i'm afraid
how do i go about all this?
can i skip ahead?
tell you my address without what's locked in?
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