of course
the first guy i become acquaintances with here
is dj-ing at a rave
tonight
my eyes roll to heaven
mother would not be proud
i turn right after the shrine
and there's my future
i sit on one of the white leather couches
on the second story of yer man's
hiphop-meets-vuitton clothes shop
closed for the night
as he and his friend -what? practice?-
mess with dials and tunes.
i play the girl card
social, composed cute
with yer man's girlfriend
etsumi
i think of the rave.
wonder what it will be like.
i think about you telling me about
the festival on my birthday
months before it would come; may, maybe?
somehow, will the rave make me less without you?
but capoeira starts tomorrow
the new year in april here
and i have been waiting eight weeks for 't
for a moment i debate which will make you closer
until i realize i am debating which will make you closer
stop
recognize
realize
jot down
and try to find
some iota of personal desire
within myself
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