day 206: i told her the shirt said peace but she didn't know the word

i saw the moon,

i was okay,

then i got kinda sad

because that meant something was over.

and that's when

i had to separate

my heartbreak for you

from my love.

over the past four months

they had begun to blend

into one and the same.

when my chest would cave

or stomach would ache

it was because my heart was having trouble

b  e  a  t  i  n  g  .

but maybe

(- and if so i only began to realized it
tonight

staring at the moon-)

it was also a way

to feel close to you,

to remind me of our love,

of how dear you are to me,

because i am in such pain.

i remember

the joy i felt
when i saw you

when you came to meet me

at that bar

i forget the name now

when my CELT course was over.

there was no pain there;

in me was pure exhilaration and pleasure.

did i find my way back

to thinking of you like that again? (or maybe begun to find such a way?)

a way that separates the heartbreak from my love?

today

as i watched the white

it was not laced

with hollowness.

i only felt

peace.