body or mind
or how much of each
something is wrong
don't want to over think
worried i messed my body up
for good
since before doctor and after
nothing divides throat and stomach
the ache is a screw
trying to keep the roof of my mouth in place
my body found out it wanted to live
rebelled splashing the rancid paste of sickness
back to remind
i can't stop salivating
it'd be a good time i guess
if you were here.
no matter how much i drink
i am still thirsty
stinging, my body tries to counter with soymilk
my body asks for salt salt salt
and fish fish fish
everything is trying to fix something else
body is pulled and struggling to appease
hunger pain left again. full pain left?
i had begun to like them accept them.
they were helpful
my body found out i can heal
pushes energy, life into me.
my body does not know
how its supposed to take things in.
i think of the time
i went to "wine bar"
with kathleen and then boyfriend
after they met
chat chat キラキラ
high stools and jitter jabber
and i smile and go to the bathroom
and throw up the last three glasses of wine
rinse out my mouth
and return still smiling
i don't think i stopped
my brain can't walk straight, as it could
my "great" memory is faint
get frustrated when something can't be comprehended,
when i know it's just located there
in the part i pounded down into my skull bone
is the moment all this SHIT happened not enough?
why must it shred twice
swallow swallow swallow
my body caught up, with all this reflection
throat and stomach understanding now
kashi was sick. so now they act that way.
my tooth broke.
strangely
i was surprised
i could
break.
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