if nothing
if i just stopped everything
this
texts to friends
letters to all
emails and calls
it would still take a while
for it to be realized

that is what it is like
without another
there is no one there
to nuzzle at night
or far away, check in with at night

there is not a soul
shared with you
you could be
gone for days

and it wouldn't faze
a one


i take metal stairs two at a time
and decide
this is not a life
not loving anyone

i am good at it
contrary to recent reports

eight years i've held someone close
even if it was a lesser being
it made life more than less


before that it was God
that would really just be easiest