almost migraine
pain

but if it wasn't here
I'd be terrified

less than a week

defense mechanism?
maybe
I really never know with my sicknesses anymore

how much control do I have?
how much am I making this be?
I think I want to stop it, but how can I do that

I didn't mean to start it... could my outer shell have done it?

all day Wednesday and today
my teeth were clenched
hard

that must be why.