cessation

i look into the mirror

i am feeling healthier

study my skin
it seems extra shiny
almost bronze
it reminds me of summer in kitakyushu

when i was at the pinnacle of my health

i wonder how much the sun made me better
how much just being completely isolated
how much it was making a rule that i'd not call anyone during troubles
how much it was the steady work through in notebooks
how much it was being completely seen, d-list celebrity
how much it was that time stopped, and i could just
catch
up

wonder how
i can bring this strange toolkit array
to rosmeen court


i look in the mirror

i am feeling happier

study my lips
pucker them into a kiss
*little kiss* *little kiss* my lips move
and i think of you

lightly jutting your chin forward
kissing me through the air.

this is how it works
this is what it means
to not grab onto a new someone else's arm
to block out the emotions.

i've never felt
the aftermath before
there has never been a cessation
before.

i look in the mirror
and its confirmed again
there are many paths
i am not confined to this one
but it is the one i choose