was hard
but i felt deserved
like i was being punished
like i needed my "timeout"
my "penance"
you sent me a message
unasked for
four lines
a nugget of your life within each
my body froze in revelry
in gratitude
then a picture
a little note
asking for my address
and an update
the next month passes with these
i feel
undeserving
overwhelmed
and frightened
i do not want to reply incorrectly
i do not want to FUCKTHINGSUP
i want to be kashi at her best
carefree, pleasing, sybaritic, enticing
flowy
but i feel none of that
can i pretend...
fake-till-make toka
dishonest, no?
you
thomas
i want to commune with thee
then i should start
i suppose
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