that i don't know where to begin
nor how
prose, poetry, blank verse
clarity or haze
devoted or distanced
for i am both
default in this situation is perhaps
overthink and worry
i had my brow furrowed for ten minutes writing all this
then my stomach jumped and i thought of the messages you sent
and smiled
i am so happy
i said out loud
and then was shocked at myself
maybe i had not yet accepted
that something good had happened
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